OUR HONEST(LY HEART BREAKING) SITUATION ...

 Dearest IVORYVERSE, thank you my LOVES for reading & upfront: the merriest most faithful Christmas in Jesus Holy name from MY FAMILY TO YOURS - although I have to say that my family is currently completely dependent on SANTAS & first and foremost GODS & JESUS & OUR FAMILY OF TRUE BELIEVERS DIVINE INTERVENTION, 

to save us and thereby receive the most greatest gift, that we could ever ask for: 

LIFE & the opportunity to function, shine, thrive and spread LOVE & LIGHT & HAPPINESS & MIRACLES, through our unique gifts and talents we have.

And with family I refer to

1. to my corest core family, me and my 3 dogs HONEY&ROCKET&BELLARINAGRACE,

Unfortunately we just had to claim the painful loss 

of our beloved family member 

HONEY HARLEY DIVA DAVIDSON SHINE ROXX FOR HONIGKEKS 

*1.12.2012 to 3.12.2023, the most perfect, most incredible, most outstanding, most indescribably perfect  beautiful in EVERY aspect ever born purebred long coat chihuahua in the rare and most perfect colors cream-sable with white chest and the cutest blackest sweetest nose on the planet. 

She died after the complicated surgery of a severe and massive uterus inflammation and since then we are in deep grief and quite unable to move.

Me and HONEYS sisters ROCKET & BELLARINA GRACE are beyond sad but fortunately we are HEALTHY and that means & gives us literally everything.

but heres our problem:

a) an honest review over our situation 

we are currently in a little town in Istra, Croatia, where we "lived" since first of March in the most traumatizing circumstances & horrifying experiences of omnipresent hopelessness and massive violence, after I came with my babies and almost none of my belongings from Vienna, where I had spend the 9 months before in my own apartment, really already fighting our way through as much as possible. 

No matter how ashamed and afraid I might feel to publicly share my circumstances: 

we currently only have a room here in a house where a lot of bad sad mad rad traumatizing things have been happening to us in the past and my truly biggest wish and goal at the moment (and already been my biggest wish all cruel cruel summer until I made it to Opatija for like 6 weeks in Oktober...) my biggest wish is to get physically away from a place that has been giving us so many bad memories, where we feel stuck, unsafe, stressed, afraid and desperate / helpless, at the same time I know that I need to be grateful and appreciative about this opportunity, because currently I don't have another option, but basically only because of the lack of money...a weird block, which has been my extreme burden for the longest time, by at the same time seemingly limitless opportunity. 

I currently don't have an online banking account that I can access, last year I became an online fraud victim over 6000€, and due to all illness and HONEYS death, I haven't been able to work as a musician for one month, so that I am literally without any money but with two dogs grieving over the loss of their sister, who was really the pack leader and the center of our family, as I realize now.

I am able to play violin street music at basically anytime I wish to generate coins at least,  but over the. last 3 years, this street music thing has contributed immensely to us being extremely weakened physically & mentally, to HONEY falling ill and dying and all of us ( ME; HONEY&ROCKET&BELLARINA) being constantly so stressed because I always had to take them with me playing & everywhere else, which resulted in the greatest catastrophe between the chihuahuas escalating completely when they see other dogs, at the same time Bellarina (the big one) trying to make friends with every dog by running at them like crazy, while other dogs have all kinds of reactions to this weird embarrassing sad scenario, while me trying to stay focused and not mess up my performance playing violin, plus at the same time trying to entertain every passenger, especially the kids - kneeling - and saying thank you for every single cent that hits my violin case - because it generates my entire income.

every single second of street music was & is horror for us and even though I happen to make quite decent amounts of cash every often and to justify the madness, I always told myself that I needed the practice (which was true but still:), the price we and especially the dogs paid, was not worth any of it, since during the playing, they also got regularly attacked by dog haters, dog rapists and all kind of bad people who wanted to punish me because they hate me and want to see me suffer.

plus my babies were freezing a lot and if not, I did, because I gave all my entire clothing to them while I was playing, so I played often belly naked and also with frozen fingers last year at zero degrees daily in Vienna (babies at home) just to be able to afford rent, which wasn't' even high amount. 

And that is just reflecting the 1,2,3, max 4 hours of playtime, not counting the countless hours to get myself & the dogs ready to go out, find some way to transport them, my instrument & equipment, my own stuff & what I need for them through the entire republic of Germany, Austria and Croatia, by Foot, without buggy or stroller or car or scooter or anything, just CARRYING IT ALL, 

find a place where I can play, find a bench or so where I can park the babies without people touching them, Bellarina runs around free and literally gets hunted by unholy fuckers whenever I turn my gaze onto my violin,

then the ages that I need to set up my "stage" and stuff and everything needed plus packing it back in every time, just for some coins who enable us barely to pay rent and food while I could sit at home and make millions from my laptop - If I wasn't too out of energy and too maximum destroyed at the end of the day and this crazy stupid run, that I just die to fall into my bed, cuddle up with my babies & fall asleep right away, afraid to wake up to the next panic attack the next morning out of desperation and the fear of failure, the fear of this being another day where I won't get any further with anything and again end up in the same nightmare like literally the last 6 years, an ongoing nightmare, which cost already HONEYS LIFE.

In the mornings I wake up, even though I am in perfect physical health and surrounded by my beloved babies, who are alive and so happy to see me, 

still, knowing that I am still stuck in a highly draining, highly horrifying and highly fragile day to day massive financial struggle situation, where the only thing I manage is to barely get by because I am overwhelmed with everything, I do automatically panic, feeling the pain of not being able to give them the perfect stress free life that they deserve and afraid to fail at the same little thing (WRITING & CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE to FIND ACTUAL HELP INSTEAD OF PLAYING FOR COINED LOSS OF DIGNITY & MY LIFE) again, I feel paralyzed and cry and usually cant stop until I force myself because I'm too late for everything, again, I didn't get to write my story down  (to FINALLY RECEIVE HELP !!!!) , again, and I am out of all money, again, so I get ready (for ages), take my dogs who absolutely hate street music, we go out and make music, last minute, I almost always miss the sun AND the sunset, also in summer, end up feeling at least a little bit better when I make 100-300€ in one session but by now, considering HONEYS loss, no sum at all could spend me comfort over the disaster that I run into every single day, desperately trying to get this on paper and out and this, my blog, truly is my last resort. 

for 3 years I am in a deadly vicious circle where I honestly live like a lost lonely outcast old homeless person, while at the same time me and my babies are beyond beautiful, gifted and precious I have an Elvis voice and David Garrett Violin Skills and charms from another world and all possibilities to go and build and create something great, which makes the world better and brings love & healing & JOY & TRUST & H O M E to the people.

But I feel so so so so stuck in my trauma, which is repeating over and over again, accompanied by always the same pattern: me ending up in dependency of men, who I don't want to be with/around in the first place, but accept material help in terms of a place to stay / sleep, which brings me into a position that I feel trapped in and unable to speak up about and break out of torture and closely related things by exactly those men - all just because I have been failing to make proper money & build a stable income throughout the last years. 

Now it is Christmas again, I look back on countless and countless hours throughout many years, where my dogs just waited for me for literally anything and just sat and or lied down and waited and watch me break down over my own inability and the deep pain over my failure to serve them better and to built great life circumstances - for US.

Theres nothing else in the world and in my life that I regret as every single moment, that I missed out on spending time with them, either because they were not with me and I left them with other people who - at the end of the day - ended up regularly abusing them, without me knowing anything, 

or, which is even worse, time that I spend with them around me, them waiting for me every moment, them paying attention to me every moment & every breath & every thought, while me completely ignoring them and their wishes and needs because I was so busy crying over my trauma or caught up running for my musician dream, that I sacrificed everything else for that, just to realize that it was the most stupid repeated decision and mistake in my life and I am so so afraid of losing Rocket now, also due to this hard battle that already left a massive hole in our hearts. EDIT: ROCKET IS HEALTHY; THANK GOD !! <3

This is summing it up quite well but only scratching the surface, even though this means everything. 

MY WISH & VISION

Like I described, we come from years of accumulated trauma, which didn't only leave us without pretty much all of our belongings, all my tons of private belongings & everything I bought, acquired, designed, sewed, braided & created over the years for my company HONIGKEKS.

My big dream which will lead to our collective family healing is to 

1. find the best vet & make sure that ROCKET is healthy & stays alive, cared for, lovely, lovable & LOVED (DONE!!<3)

2. ROCKET; BELLI & ME move to our modern & peaceful apartment, that does us justice, preferably one beautiful luxury standard airbnb in a city in Istra or Dalmatia (preferably not in Porec, because theres too much trauma connected) (NEXT STEP!)

3. find a therapist to resolve past trauma, preferably I would love to work with the legend Marisa Peer, who has already continuously helped me so much on my healing and recovery journey with her amazing shining Youtube Videos and Audiocontent on Spotify. 

I believe that she is able to help me resolve my entire 33 year old trauma in a short time through her amazing rapid transformatioal therapy and I would also love to have her so much by my side in this challenging time where I have lost my chihuahua after 12 years.

Also I aim to become sober from everything that made me kind of survive in the past years like antidepressants, that I used and still use to stand through all the re occurring trauma and seek help with that. I am very proud that I did at least manage to get off alcohol with the surgery of my dog before her death and stick to my sobriety from the worst and most dangerous drug on the planet.

4. find a coach to help me with managing myself, my life & my business, remove my money block and help me to strategize all my amazing visions and work of the past into online courses, physical products, the worlds largest GOSPEL community of loving givers and blessed receivers, where every request of a member gets covered by the providing opportunities of another member, just like SANTA, but in real life, among sharing and learning about GODS WORD and praising GOD & Jesus Christ and his miracles.

I don't know how I came across her and I haven't had any personal contact with this charming lady yet but I feel like Sandra Ledermüller could be the right person for this mission and here you can find her on FB: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2795578634035599/user/100000159674526

I will text her later and ask if we could, for the start of my new blog, do a collaboration, working on my GOALS and hitting them AND I do document the entire journey so our audiences can take part in live time - and together grow and thrive and write history for a lifetime ! <3 

5. build my blog, write my first (or first 5) best selling books, build my Fashion Label HONIGKEKS DOG LUXURY & violin making brand IVORY VIOLINS which I intent to build to give away free violins to every child in a long term hospital period (like cancer patients) around the world, amongst providing MUSIC CLASSES & 

last but not least my goal is to build my YOUTUBE for my music and spread and share a ton of LOVE and healing online and offline around the world and finally HEAL the world by building a new F*§C§&ER Free World, A PINK SAFE WORLD FULL OF LOVE; TRUST; SUPPORT & PROTECTION: IVORY HAVEN BY IVORY GOSPEL <3 

6. write down, publish & LIVE my most beautiful LOVE STORY - because me and my heart deserve it: and YOU do too!

6.6 FINISH WRITING & PRODUCE MY DEBUT ALBUM PRESS PLAY PRESLEY

7. make tons and tons of money so I can 

a) buy my dream house where I live with my family including my wonderful future husband & our dog babies (maybe even human ones one day omg) , where we can create the most beautiful LIFE and art & never have to worry about money again

b) build a new, better SAFE & HAPPY world not only for me and my beloved family, but also for all our fans and friends , which are our FAMILY and trust me, I have the best vision imaginable !! <3 

HOW TO HELP 

For now, 

the most important HELP is sending PRAYERS for our HEALTH & SUCCESS & FOCUS & LOVE &GETTING OUR GOALS, 

we are highly faithful and in daily conversation with GOD and JESUS OUR SAVIOUR, who is so so close with us and carries us through every good and challenging time, always and at all times, 

therefore we truly know the worth and value of heart sincere honest praise and prayers and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your spiritual support, for that you think and care about us.

But for things for us to change for the better in the physical world, we need also:

- financial support to cover all cost

- as well as help to find & fund a therapist and business coach

- find someone providing us an accomodation and support on our way of healing, you can for example support us via the app air cash since my PayPal business card is currently not working or book us an apartment in POREC or OPATIJA or PULA or ROVINJ or DUBROVNIK through your credit card for IVORY PRESLEY with BELLARINA (MAGYAR VIZSLA) und ROCKET (CHIHUAHUA) (SERVICE DOGS) (preferably not porec, to be honest, because of all past trauma..)

Thank you for everything, whoever would like to reach out to us personally, is very welcome to do that via iamivorypresley@gmail.com.

THANK YOU ENDLESSLY; THANK YOU GOD; THANK YOU JESUS; THANK YOU BELIEVERS; THANK YOU FOR OUR LIFE!! <3 <3 <3